Thousands of years ago, long before Cyrus II’s Archameadian Empire usurped the great Babylonian Empire from the hand of Nabodinus in the 500BCE, an African saying was birthed: ‘The old eagle teaches the younger one to fly.’ In the journey of parenting, as we have known it for time immemorial, the underpinnings of love, care, guidance, encouragement, communication, empathy, patience, behaviour modelling, autonomy support and attention are aspects that have shaped the African traditional society’s child; from which arrangement, the hands of our parents— which were ferrous many times, were so able as to raise us. President Yoweri K. Museveni, a great storyteller, always recounts the stories of his upbringing with gleams dancing on his oily face, at the fond recollection of Mzee Kaguta’s parenting style. He represents many individuals who proudly regard the decency with which they were raised and bred— with love, care, good nutrition, proper hygiene, an education worth its salt, comely fragrant manners, name them. Similar hands moulded me too…
Our parents invested significant effort into nurturing us, shaping our identities and values that we are proud of this far; and before we ourselves transition into the role of parentage, in this modern-day era that has torn us into pieces divided between Instagram, TikTok, and tight work schedules, it becomes more crucial than ever before to reflect on how we can replicate those same parenting experiences for our children, to determine whether or not we can hold the pillars of parentage. This is less about enjoying the joys of parenting or watching our children grow, and more about ensuring that the legacy of love and core values is passed down through generations, and even more about creating an environment of evolution where the joy we harvested from our parents are evolved into our posterity.
Social media, with all its colourful facets, has the potential to distract parents from the essential duties of parenting. Many parents prioritize creating a polished online presence– typified by followers, likes, and comments— over meaningful interactions with their children. The irony lies in the fact that while they may share moments of their children’s lives online, the depth of those moments can be diminished by a lack of genuine engagement in these young lives, abandoning these children into the sometimes-not-so-soft hands of nuns and maids.
Moreover, modern parenting faces unique societal pressures that contradict traditional parenting. Many parents juggle multiple jobs to sustain their families financially, leaving them with limited time to devote to their children—this economic strain results in a parenting style that prioritises material provision over emotional connection. In Child Development, 2015 Raby, a renowned researcher, found that “early maternal sensitivity is associated with improved social and academic competence into adulthood,” emphasising that emotional engagement is vital for the long-term success-inducing behaviour of a child.
As modern parents strive to balance work responsibilities with family life, they may inadvertently neglect the emotional needs of their children. The absence of consistent communication can hinder children’s ability to develop secure attachments—an essential component for healthy emotional growth. Developmental psychologists emphasize that children who receive attentive care are more likely to explore their environments confidently, knowing they have a safe base to return to.
As we stand at the crossroads of our parenting journey, we have a unique opportunity to replicate this nurturing environment for our children. It is not merely about providing material comforts or crafting an impressive online persona; it is about fostering deep emotional connections that will serve as a guiding light for our children as they navigate their own paths. The lessons learned from our parents—whether through their words or actions—are invaluable treasures that we must pass down. By embodying the same love and support they offered us, we can help our children build a solid foundation for their future.
Imagine a world where every child feels secure in the knowledge that they are loved unconditionally. This sense of security allows them to explore their passions, take risks, learn from failures without fear of judgment, and when they grow up be better performers at the workplace and more productive in the marketplace. This validation is crucial for their self-esteem and emotional intelligence. As we reflect on our own experiences, it’s essential to ask ourselves: How can we emulate the warmth and guidance our parents provided? How can we ensure that our children carry forward these values into their own lives?
Moreover, as modern parents, we must recognize the importance of consistency in our approach. Just as our parents established routines and boundaries that fostered a sense of stability, routines that we felt but never understood, we too must create an environment where our children know what to expect. This consistency not only promotes security but also teaches responsibility and accountability. By being present in their lives—actively listening to their childish stories, patting, soothing, snuggling, cuddling with them, teaching them what the world won’t properly teach them– life skills, ancient proverbs and stories, morals, teaching them not only how to express themselves but also how to empathize with others, instilling the importance of compassion and understanding– and celebrating their achievements—we reinforce the idea that they are valued members of the family, as we create today tomorrow’s strong and useful individuals. Let us take the time to engage in meaningful conversations with our children.
But as we embrace this responsibility, it is also crucial to acknowledge that parenting is not without its challenges; though it is during these times that we must lean on the wisdom passed down from our parents. Their experiences can serve as a reminder that love and patience are powerful tools for overcoming obstacles. We can draw strength from their stories, using them as a source of inspiration when navigating the complexities of modern parenting. Each act of love we show to our children has the potential to ripple outward into their relationships with others—friends, partners, and eventually their children. Imagine how transformative it would be if every parent committed to this legacy of love; if every child grew up knowing they were cherished and supported.
Bottom line: If what your parents did for you seems too overwhelming for you to recapitulate, please stick to those contraceptives, will you? Well, does not the children’s anthem say: we are the pillars of tomorrow’s Uganda?
