The biblical decree for a man to “leave his father and his mother” resonates deeply with the universal human experience of transitioning to adulthood. For young men, whether it’s after graduation, securing a job, or neither, this often translates to the exciting yet daunting prospect of leaving the familiar comforts of the parental home.
The freedom to walk into your house at any hour without the dreaded “Where are you coming from?” escaping the burden of taking orders or engaging in activities that don’t feel ‘cool’—like joining the family for “lengthy and boring” evening prayers simply because it’s mandatory and, “Enyumba Sigwe eyagyizimba” (it’s not your house)—can be liberating.
While many reasons push young men to rent their own cribs—that’s if the fathers didn’t leave them any property—moving out is simply part of every man’s life. However, life on your own comes with essential principles to keep you from boomeranging back to your parent’s house, or worse.
Security and Picking a House
The first step to moving out is securing the essentials. Depending on your budget, start with items like bedding—leave the old ones for your siblings—and a good door lock. If funds allow, consider getting a screen or other items to keep yourself entertained during downtime.
Most importantly, prioritize safety. Rent a house in a secure area because everything you own, however small, is your treasure. Imagine replacing a mattress or other belongings within a month because of theft—a financial setback no one wants.
Don’t Think of Going Back
There will be tough times—days when you don’t have a penny for food—not even enough for a Kikomando, or a single unit of Yaka. In such moments, resist the temptation to run back home. Prepare for these moments by saving consistently and stocking up on essentials like soap, sugar, and bread (I like to call it “the bread of the presence,” lol).
A mosquito net, safe drinking water and being mindful of what you put in your mouth will help you avoid frequent illnesses that could drain your savings and delay your plans. Treat this as your biggest enemy.
Side Gig & Proper Finance Management System
Manage your finances wisely. Diversify your income by taking on a side hustle if possible. Rent is non-negotiable—missing payments could see you evicted, or worse, end up in trouble with a tough landlord. Kola Nnyo! (Work hard!)
Get a girl – Find a Partner
Forget whatever people preach—this is it, man. If you haven’t already, invest some time in finding a girl of your own. And unless it’s part of your plan, don’t confuse this with rushing into marriage or having her move in on the first day of your Muzigo (rental)—there’s a process for that. Take time to build a genuine connection and a shared vision. A relationship grounded in emotional support and stability can be your anchor. Otherwise, life can get dark, overwhelming, and lonely—sometimes even with that girl.
Hold Onto Something.
Religious places like churches or mosques, as well as football fields where people hang out during their free time, can be great escapes from the confines of your rental. These spaces will help maintain your sanity despite the pressure of independent living! I recall spending time in the open with a grown-up friend’s toddlers in a distant neighbourhood from my residence.
Entertainment & Adorning Your House
Invest in creating a comfortable and inviting living space—not through extravagant spending, but with thoughtful touches that reflect your style. A well-organized and aesthetically pleasing home can serve as a source of motivation on tough days.
Entertainment is equally important. Life gets busy, and friends may not always be available to meet up. Watching movies or simply enjoying your space can be a great way to unwind. While bars and clubs are fun, they often come at the price of overspending, fights, or funny accidents. Staying home, hosting friends—not everyone, or visiting them can be safer and more fulfilling.
A Final Note
In all this, remember that with frequent home visits, you might just decide to move back, not always a good idea!
By Isaac Odwako N
