When French President Emmanuel Macron stepped off a plane in Hanoi, Vietnam, on May 25, the world didn’t expect what came next. A footage by The Associated Press, showed Brigitte’s hands, clad in red sleeves, pushing Macron’s face, causing him to recoil before he flashed a quick smile for the cameras. Macron later dismissed it as “joking” and “playfighting,” while his office called it a “moment of complicity.” But the incident, amplified by mocking comments from Russia’s Maria Zakharova and on X, reignited questions about the Macrons’ marriage.
In Tyler Perry’s political soap, The Oval, President Hunter Franklin appears at public ceremonies looking every inch the alpha—yet behind closed doors, his heart pounds at the sound of his wife’s stilettos. Hunter and first lady Victoria Franklin brawl “like strangers in a bar fight”; she hurls a glass at him after taunting him about his affairs, and the Secret Service finds them bloodied and breathing hard before the inauguration even begins. Hunter is a fictional president, yet his predicament tracks the real-world spectrum of abuse—proof that a man can sit atop the most powerful office on Earth and still fear the next slap, the next threat, the next humiliating secret-spill, the next blackmail.
Mwai Kibaki – Mama Lucy
Kenya’s third president knew that fear. Mwai Kibaki was lauded as a consensus-builder, a quiet economist, but in Nairobi gossip circles, he was the man who ‘couldn’t control Mama Lucy.’ First Lady Lucy Kibaki stormed newsrooms, slapped cameramen, humiliated ministers, and—according to long-running rumours—battered her husband behind State House doors. Kenyan columnist Reuben Abati called her ‘unapproachable, ungovernable… a violent First Lady’ who publicly overruled the president and reduced officials to trembling silence. In 2009, she even frog-marched Kibaki to a press conference, barking over his shoulder while he affirmed, wooden-faced, that he had ‘only one wife: Lucy.’
Might President Macron be going through the same ordeal? Was that plane incident really a playful gesture or a glimpse of something darker?
1993–1994: The Controversial Beginning
Emmanuel Macron, a 15-year-old student at La Providence, a private Catholic school in Amiens, France, met Brigitte Trogneux, 39 years, a married mother of three and his drama teacher. They grew close while co-writing a school play, with Brigitte later describing Emmanuel’s ‘exceptional intelligence’ as similar to ‘working with Mozart.’ Their bond, initially intellectual, soon turned romantic. This sparked a scandal. Macron’s parents, believing he was dating Brigitte’s daughter Laurence, a classmate, were shocked to learn the truth from a family friend! They sent Emmanuel to Paris to finish high school at Lycée Henri-IV, hoping distance would end the affair. Brigitte, still married to banker André-Louis Auzière, reportedly told Macron’s parents she couldn’t ‘promise anything’ when asked to stop seeing him until he was 18.
1994–2006: A Long-Distance Affair
Despite the separation, Emmanuel and Brigitte maintained contact through letters and calls, their relationship unfolding ‘slowly.’ Macron, unwavering, reportedly vowed at 17: ‘Whatever you do, I will marry you.’ Brigitte’s marriage to Auzière ended in divorce in 2006, clearing the path for their relationship to become official. The public in Amiens treated them harshly—Brigitte’s door was spat on, and her family faced venomous gossip.
2007: Marriage and Public Scrutiny
Emmanuel, 29, and Brigitte, 54, married in 2007 in Le Touquet. At the wedding, Macron thanked Brigitte’s children—Sébastien, Laurence, and Tiphaine—for accepting their ‘not-quite-normal couple.’ The marriage drew attention for its 24-year age gap. As Macron’s political star rose, Brigitte quit teaching to support his ambitions, becoming his closest advisor.
2014–2017: Politics and publicity.
By 2014, as Macron became France’s finance minister under President François Hollande, Brigitte was his constant consultant, shaping his political image. When Macron launched his 2017 presidential campaign, their marriage faced intense scrutiny. Some called Brigitte a ‘cougar,’ others claimed Macron was gay. Brigitte, like Lucy, took legal action against such claims, including a 2022 rumour that she was transgender. Macron won the presidency at 39, becoming France’s youngest leader, with Brigitte, then 64, his first lady.
2017–2025: The Presidency and Persistent Rumours
As first lady, Brigitte focused on education reform, her former profession. But the gossip did not stop. Macron called her his “anchor,” crediting her for keeping him grounded. In 2022, he won re-election, again acknowledging her as essential to his identity.
So, examining that context, could Brigitte be abusing Macron? Here are some pointers.
While the Hanoi incident may have been playful, as Macron claims, examining their relationship through the lens of domestic abuse reveals potential red flags. Domestic violence experts note that abuse isn’t always overt; it can be subtle, emotional, or situational, especially when power dynamics are skewed. Here are possible indicators, drawn from the Macrons’ history and public moments.
Power Imbalance from the Start
Brigitte was Macron’s teacher, 24 years older, married, and a mother of three when they met. She held authority over him as a minor, shaping their early dynamic. Their relationship began in a context where Brigitte had significant influence, which some, like Joe Gibson in a 2023 Guardian piece, argue constitutes an abuse of power due to the age and authority gap. Gibson, a victim of a similar teacher-student relationship, described lifelong emotional damage from such dynamics, which suggests that Macron’s youth may have made him vulnerable to manipulation.
Relationships starting with a power imbalance, especially involving a minor, can set a precedent for control. Brigitte’s refusal to ‘promise’ to stop seeing Emmanuel when asked by his parents could indicate a disregard for boundaries, a trait sometimes linked to controlling behaviour.
Public Control and Scolding
A Paris source told the Daily Mail in 2025 that Brigitte is ‘very hands-on’ organising Macron’s diary and clothes, and ‘not unusual’ for scolding him if he errs, like forgetting something. The Hanoi shove, described by some as a ‘maternal clip round the ear,’ could be a pattern of such public correction.
Publicly correcting or physically engaging a partner, even if framed as playful, can signal control, especially if it humiliates or startles, as Macron appeared in the video.
Emotional Dependency
Macron has repeatedly called Brigitte his ‘anchor,’ saying, ‘Without her, I wouldn’t be me.’ While this could reflect love, it also suggests deep emotional reliance, rooted in their early dynamic when Brigitte was a mentor figure. Brigitte’s 2017 Elle France interview described their bond as a ‘Platonic fit,’ but her role as his primary advisor raises questions about whether she exerts outsized influence.
Emotional abuse can manifest as fostering dependency, where one partner feels they cannot function without the other. Macron’s public reliance on Brigitte, combined with her gatekeeping role in his professional life, could indicate an imbalanced dynamic.
Public Incidents and Ambiguity
The Hanoi video is the most prominent incident, but its ambiguity—Brigitte’s body language was obscured, and Macron quickly recovered—mirrors the difficulty in identifying abuse. Macron’s office initially denied the video’s authenticity.
Physical actions, even if minor, that startle or embarrass a partner in public can be a subtle form of control. The lack of clear context and Macron’s swift dismissal raise questions about whether he feels pressured to minimise such moments.
Social Isolation and Public Backlash
Brigitte told Elle in 2018 that her relationship with Macron cost her friends, who treated them ‘like they had the plague.’ Her family faced spitting and hateful letters, and she described the early years as ‘crippling.’ This isolation, coupled with public scrutiny, may have created a dynamic where the couple relied heavily on each other.
Abusers sometimes isolate partners, intentionally or not, creating a world where the victim depends on them. While external judgment drove this isolation, it may have reinforced a dynamic where Brigitte holds significant sway over the young man.
The Macrons’ defenders argue their relationship is a testament to love above norms. Brigitte told Paris Match in 2023 that she took a decade to ensure her children were settled, showing care for their well-being. Macron’s 2017 campaign leaned into their story, framing it as a modern, equal partnership. Their public unity, like walking hand-in-hand in Hanoi hours after the incident, counters claims of discord. Brigitte’s role as advisor reflects trust, not control, and Macron’s success as president suggests strength, not victimhood. The Hanoi shove, they insist, was playful, exaggerated by media and geopolitics.
Yet the red flags—power imbalances, public corrections, emotional dependency—can’t be ignored.
Bullying and abuse in marriage seldom start with fists. It begins with a shrill reprimand in front of dinner guests, a sneer about “real men don’t do that.” Threatening follows: Go ahead, walk out, I’ll make sure this or that happens. If the woman has the money and influence that propel the man into his career, control and abuse walk in easily: she closes the joint bank account, freezes the credit cards, phones an ally to cancel their support for her man’s political career. Soon the man’s world shrinks: he develops a dread of what tomorrow’s head lint might reveal. This kind of intimidation becomes the air he breathes: smashed plates as he enters the kitchen, or the smiling taunt Victoria Franklin delivers before secret-service staff appear: Remember who really owns this house.
So, if Macron disguised the shove as nothing, how much does this speak about men hiding abuse? Well, men don’t talk because the world doesn’t listen. Society demands that they be unbreakable—strong, the ones who protect, never the ones who need saving. Admitting abuse feels like stripping away masculinity. Centuries ago, French men faced public shaming for being battered, paraded on donkeys through jeering crowds. Today, the jeers come from social media, where a wife’s violence is a gag, not a tragedy. The Macron video, playful or not, drew the same cruel laughter, with comments slicing at his authority instead of his safety.
Then there’s the practical trap. Men stay in abusive homes because leaving means losing everything—money, kids, dignity. Even someone like Macron, with the world’s eyes on him, might downplay a moment—his team first questioned the video’s authenticity—to protect his presidency. If his wife has strings tied around his presidency, then he knows better than to speak up.
It is not that men are becoming weak, and can not respond with similar violence. It’s just that sometimes there is a lot at stake, because men do actually think ahead!
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Compiled by Mwesigwa Joshua
