How To Know She Is Into You But Playing It Cool

“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away,” Dr Alex Hitchens once said

If you know this guy, you are an outright legend. Anyways, for years, she had that breath he couldn’t grasp—call her DJ Dime, queen of the decks at All the Queen’s Men’s Club Eden, spinning tracks and dodging hearts, trying not to mix business with pleasure.

And he, his name is Amp—he has been chasing her for a really really long time. But she wasn’t taking none o’ that. And yet to Madam and Blue, her seniors, she made it obvious she was dying for him bad. She burned for him inside—his raw edge, his unshakable pull, his moves and muscles; she tossed and turned in bed all night at the thought of him. She would stretch the chase across moons, her affection a whisper beneath her steel, taking it slow like a song building to its drop, leaving him breathless every time she flickered into view. As Noah Calhoun put it in The Notebook, ‘It’s not about keeping your promises, it’s about following your heart’—and her heart was a compass she’d never let him read.

Brother, sometimes she will be into you and yet say otherwise. So, you gotta read the come-hither signs to find out what she is not telling you: that she decided the first time she set her beautiful eyes on you that you are fine as hell, and that she must have you for keeps. Here are those signs to look out for. Thank me later.

Her Eyes Can’t Lie
You’re talking, and she’s sneaking looks—quick darts that vanish when you catch her. Or maybe you’re not even looking, and she’s sizing you up from across the room, thinking of all the adult things she would want to do to you, supposing you won’t notice. I don’t know what is in biting for women but most times she will be biting something—her pen, her lips or pulling strands of her long hair into her mouth. Weird. If she’s checking you out when your back’s turned, that’s her curiosity slipping through the cracks.

Her Teasing Has a Pull
She’ll toss out a jab— ‘Your jokes are terrible’—but it lands soft, paired with a half-smile that sticks. It’s not a shove; it’s a tether, keeping you in her orbit. When her words sting just enough to make you grin back, she’s flirting without saying it.

She Flip-Flops on You
One day, she’s all warmth, laughing loud, lighting up your space. The next, she’s a wall—short replies, distant stares, blah blah. It’s not random; it’s her dialling back to keep you guessing. If she’s still engaging after the chill, she’s playing hard to get, not walking away. Sometimes it is her indirect way of saying ‘you are dumb as chicken not to be noticing my little moves, sir’, so that might explain the tantrums and stuff.

She’s Always Nearby
She doesn’t need to be there, but she is—showing up at your usual spots, lingering in your crowd. It’s no accident; it’s her choosing to stay close, even if she acts like it’s just chance. Think of Baby in Dirty Dancing, always drifting toward Johnny’s lessons—she’s drawn in, even if she plays it off. It’s your duty not to mess it up. Create an experience around this and whoosh, brotherhood will be proud of you.

Her Body Talks Louder
Her lips might play it cool, but her body’s spilling secrets. She leans in when you speak, fingers fidgeting with a sleeve or a strand of hair. Maybe her feet point your way, or she mirrors your stance. Those small shifts—she can’t fake them, and they say she is into you.

She Digs into Your World
She’s scrolling your socials—liking and unliking posts, never commenting, watching your stories/status, piecing you together when you’re not around. In Hitch, Sara Melas digs into Alex “Hitch” Hitchens’ life, trailing his moves while he’s busy helping Albert Brennaman charm Allegra Cole—she’s into you, even if she hides it behind her reporter’s notepad. There…

She Drops Quiet Openings
Do me a favour and understand that some women, though, are next-level stubborn—immovable, like they’re carved from stone, giving you nothing but red flags and a cold shoulder that screams disinterest, they are as soft on the inside as a yolk. About 88 percent of guys tap out here, thinking it’s a lost cause. Don’t be most men. Push a little harder—not creepy or clingy, but nice, casual, easy-going. Be charming, compelling, convincing, and never ever make it seems like it’s all about sex, even if it is. She might just be testing your grit.

‘I’ve got no time for a boyfriend,’ she’ll say, or ‘You are a nice guy but I am just not interested.’ Well, she might be telling the truth, maybe she nursing a broken heart, but it is your job to hold the cards of what is truth and what is not—a whole lot of women don’t even know what they want. So, those lines do not mean a thing for real. Just find your way inside her system and she will discover that you are the whole world to her. The very reason she even exists.

Her Friends Spill It
Her crew’s acting off—grinning too wide when you’re around, nudging each other like they’re in on a joke. She’s probably let something slip, and they can’t hide it. If they’re extra chatty or tossing you looks, they’re her unintentional wingmen. Give extra attention to them, bribe them if you must.

She Challenges You Playfully
‘Bet you can’t handle this,’ she says, smirking, daring you to prove her wrong. It’s not just fun—it’s her way of sparking something, seeing if you’ll rise. She’s inviting you to chase her a little harder.

Jealousy Peeks Out
Mention someone else—another friend, a flirty stranger—and her mask slips. Her laugh gets tight, or she goes quiet before brushing it off. It’s not a tantrum; it’s a flash of care she can’t bury. If she reacts, even small, you’re on her mind. Celebrate.

She’s “Busy” but Still Around
She’ll dodge your invites— ‘Too much going on’—but then she’s liking your stuff online, tossing a quick reply days later. It’s not a full ghost; it’s a tease, keeping you hooked while she holds back. If she’s still in the mix, she’s not done with you. Unleash your claws and wait.

Your Gut’s Picking Up Signals
You feel it—that buzz when she’s near, even through her games. It’s not wishful thinking; it’s instinct catching what her words won’t say. If she’s not shutting you out cold, that hum’s real—she’s into you, just slow-rolling it.

She might stretch the chase like Dime or Sara Melas, weaving a web of hints and half-truths, but the signs are there if you look close—her glances stealing your shadow, her jabs laced with honey, her stubborn walls daring you to climb. She’s not bolting—she’s daring you to see past her cool and step up. Trust what you feel, and make your play. As Alex Hitchens would put it, ‘Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.’

Jane Austen from Pride and Prejudice would say: ‘A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment’—so catch her leap before she lands. Because here’s the thing about women, they like to think we don’t get them, but we do. And when you do, you don’t find the right girl because you’re not looking for her—she finds you. Allie from The Notebook seals it: ‘I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.’ She’s waiting for you to hear it in her silence—chase that forever, one breath at a time.

Flood me with some comments, my ninjas.

Compiled by Mwesigwa Joshua