Last weekend, I watched ‘The Beekeeper’ intending to review it right away. There’s so much to unpack about this movie! Directed by David Ayer with a screenplay by Kurt Wimmer, whose recent credits include The Expend4bles (2014), and remakes of Point Break (2015), Total Recall(2012), and, Children of the Corn (2020). If you like John Wick’s movies, you’ll definitely have fun with this one.
The script for ‘The Beekeeper’ has all the hallmarks of a pre-2000s action movie – it’s as though they simply dusted off an old script and hit record. Jason Statham plays Adam Clay, a former government special agent called a ‘Beekeeper,’ part of a program so secret even the CIA is unaware. According to Statham’s repeated pronouncements, his job is to protect the hive, the vulnerable and poor.
After retiring, Adam Clay becomes a beekeeper, the movie though doesn’t dig into depth as to why. Nevertheless, Statham enjoys his newfound peace until the elderly woman who lets him use her barn (played by Phylicia Rashad) falls victim to a phishing scam, losing all her money. Here, the fishing scam is depicted in offices straight out of a 1995 Hacker movie, run by knock-off Jordan Belforts with giant video screens.
This throws Beekeeper back into action to hunt down the culprits: a tech bro played by Josh Hutcherson and his father, the former Director of the CIA played by Jeremy Irons (and yes, I’m spoiling the first 15 minutes). However, I won’t even attempt to predict where this movie goes – the escalation is insane, and it will leave you feeling equally insane while watching.
‘The Beekeeper’ is one of the most unsolvable movies I’ve ever seen in ages, making it both awesome and awful in the best way possible. The script is like a crazy fun mistake, with lines like ‘Stealing from a person is bad. Stealing from a child? Maybe worse!’ Emmy Raver-Lampman, who plays the FBI agent daughter of actress Phylicia Rashad, tells Statham, ‘I detect some British Isles in that accent,’ as if we all don’t already know his super-strong British accent!
There are so many other baffling decisions like casting Minnie Driver as the Director of the CIA for two forgettable scenes, introducing a bizarre character who disappears just as quickly, and featuring no less than three villainous teams with their own colourful leaders, who are constantly shuffled around. One of these goons even has a South African accent so bad it’s impossible to tell if the actor is genuinely terrible or intentionally mocking Hollywood’s usual depictions.
These are the kinds of details that make movies like this so captivating. They make you want to take a university course on how such films get made, scene by scene. For instance, there’s a scene in the FBI field office, conveniently placed in the center of the frame, are repairmen fixing a ceiling leak. Throughout the entire five-minute scene, I couldn’t help but stare at them, wondering what their purpose was. Were they listening in on a conversation, or were on a plan to flood the headquarters? The answer is…nothing. These distracting repairmen are there for absolutely no reason, leaving only two possibilities: either director David Ayer was incompetent or intentionally messing with the audience.
Jason Statham does what Jason Statham does best: scowl and kick things. Much like Arnold Schwarzenegger before him, he’s mastered the art of delivering any line with such seriousness that you can’t tell if he’s in on the joke. This ambiguity is what makes him one of the modern.
Every time I thought ‘The Beekeeper’ was too bad to be entertaining, it would prove me wrong with a laugh-out-loud moment. Conversely, whenever I convinced myself it was intentionally bad, it would reach new levels of incompetence that couldn’t possibly be planned. “The Beekeeper” is a paradox. It’s like staring into the sun – you know you should look away, but you can’t help but squint and try to decipher what you’re seeing.
So, is ‘The Beekeeper‘ a masterpiece of terrible action cinema or a hilarious disaster? Honestly, who cares! However, if you’re looking for a brain massage, look elsewhere. But if you want a movie that’s like a car crash you can’t look away from, “The Beekeeper” is your hive.
