A few decades ago, the idea of staying single for life was often met with raised eyebrows and concerned whispers. “Is he celibate?” “Maybe he can’t function very well” and all such conclusions. Marriage was the ultimate goal, the milestone that signified success in adulthood—study, get a job, get a place to stay, get married, have kids…such was the expected line of events for many.
But times have changed. More people are embracing singlehood, not as a phase, but as a permanent, fulfilling choice. Many find the single life more appealing and rewarding than married life, and as a lover, I find it might be high time to learn what’s behind this emerging singlehood movement.
So, What’s Changed?
(1). Personal Freedom is Priceless
One of the biggest reasons people remain single by choice today is the sheer freedom that comes with it simply because, relationships require compromise—where to live, what to eat, how to spend free time, with whom to do it, etc. Yet when you’re single, every decision is yours.
You can take that spontaneous trip somewhere for weeks without having to answer someone at home, switch careers, or spend a lazy weekend in shorts binge-watching superhero movies without having to consider someone else’s preferences. The singles find this very conducive, compared to the committed life where a night out with the boys can easily be compromised by your partner at home calling and demanding you return home having spent an hour too long past your expected return time.
(2). Financial Independence Matters
Gone are the days when marriage was necessary for financial security. With more women climbing the corporate ladder and more men finding satisfaction outside traditional family roles, the economic incentive to pair up has weakened. People are realizing they can financially survive on their own, without the added stress of joint bank accounts and shared expenses.
Gone are the days when women were seen as housewives to be catered for by their spouses, today, even men don’t like broke women, thus everyone is more concerned about making money and bettering themselves before committing to relationships.
In addition, singlehood allows someone to effectively control their finances, with no outside party to cater to and plan for at their expense.
(3). Dating Has Changed (And Not Always for the Better)
Let’s be honest—modern dating can be exhausting and not as rewarding as it used to be. The time when you met someone, built a real connection, and shared the goal of starting a genuine family is long past. Today, people date for fun and free sex, some get into marriage to have a roof over their heads and an assured meal every day, some commit to relationships for money, and others date purely for hookups—short-term connections primarily for casual sex or specific benefits.
Apps have made it easier than ever to meet people, but they’ve also turned dating into an endless cycle of swiping, ghosting, and disappointing first dates. The effort it takes to find a genuine connection can feel overwhelming, leading many to opt out of the game altogether, because, in reality, it’s not a very good experience.
(4). The Availability of Cheap Sex
One undeniable factor that has contributed to the decline of traditional relationships is the widespread availability of casual sex. In the past, sex was reserved for committed couples, and marriage was one of the few socially accepted avenues to a fulfilling sex life. Today, however, sex is more accessible than ever through hookup culture, dating apps, and even paid services.
With casual encounters just a swipe away, many individuals no longer feel the pressure to enter relationships solely for physical intimacy. Platforms like Tinder and OnlyFans have created a space where people can fulfil their sexual needs without the emotional or financial investment that comes with a relationship.
As a result, commitment is no longer the necessary path to intimacy, which is why more people are single by choice without feeling like they are missing out.
The Evolution of Relationships: Then vs. Now
A few generations ago, marriage was less about love and more about necessity. It was expected, encouraged, and sometimes even arranged; if no one would come to ask for the woman’s hand in marriage, it was common for the family to arrange a marriage for her and be done with it. Today, the reasons are a little more varied, as I have shown earlier. Love is no longer the sole reason people get into relationships, some do it for companionship, others for partnership in parenting, and some just want a romantic fling without long-term commitment.
This change in relationship goals has also made people more selective since no one wants to settle for an average relationship when they can be single and happy instead. No one wants to be played and exploited when they can be single and happy instead.
The Downsides of Relationships That People Want to Avoid
While relationships can be beautiful, they also come with challenges that many prefer to skip. Here are a few reasons why some opt for singlehood over romance:
Emotional Labor: Being in a relationship often means managing not only your emotions but your partner’s too. This can be draining, especially if you’re someone who values peace and stability.
Compromise Fatigue: Relationships require constant negotiation—where to go for dinner, how to handle finances, whether to have kids. Some people simply don’t want to navigate these conversations daily. It becomes worse when your partner is so indecisive to the point of not even knowing what they want.
Fear of Heartbreak: Let’s face it—breakups suck. Many people who have experienced painful separations choose to avoid the risk altogether, and others decide to jump into new relationships to try and nurse the heartbreak. This in turn makes people today a little more skeptical when it comes to love and relationships simply because you never know what you are taking. Is it genuine, or is your partner just trying to get over a previous relationship?
Why single and thriving is The New Narrative
Society is finally catching up to the idea that being single is not a failure. It can be an incredibly fulfilling way to live. People are investing more in their careers, friendships, hobbies, and personal growth.
Being single today isn’t about “waiting for the right one” anymore—it’s about living life on your terms and speed, and for many, that’s the best choice they could ever make.
While true that there will always be those asking when you’ll get married, parents asking for grandchildren, and the occasional lot starting to presume you don’t function under the hood, today’s world is a little more forging for the single because everyone knows how terrible a rushed relationship can go.
As for those ready to try out their luck, we’ve got you covered as well:
How to Impress Just Any Man: Ladies, do these and He’s All Yours.
How to Get Just Any Girl in Kampala, Tips to Make Her Like You.
Compiled by Muwanguzi Enoch
