Not just Ugandan moms, all African moms seem to have a universal language we the children just can’t win against. For those of us with melanin-rich skin, this needs no explanation. From “the look” they give you when visitors are around to signal “Wait when they leave, I’ll show you who’s boss!” to the all too familiar “Did I not carry you for nine months?” line…African moms are simply masters at argument. So here are some of the reasons you, as a child, will always find it hard to win an argument with your mother.
African Moms are intimidating and borderline scary. There’s a reason the mere mention of “Mom” can make grown adults straighten up in public. You simply don’t just wake up and talk back to an African Mom…not when you value your cheek and ass. The infamous Umoja sandal has served as footwear and a trusted disciplinary tool. A few claps on your backside, and you’ll quickly fall in line.
The Ultimate Guilt-Tripping Experts. Dear reader, guilt-tripping is not a new “Gen-Z” word. African Moms have been experts at this since long ago, having an entire arsenal of guilt-tripping lines, but among these, none hits harder than the legendary, “Did I not carry you for nine months?” If that doesn’t work, they’ll remind you of all the sacrifices they made to raise you; “Do you know how many nights I stayed awake when you were sick?” “When I was your age, I was already helping my mother. But you? You’re arguing with me!” By the time they’re done, you’ll feel like the most ungrateful human alive, even if all you did was question why you can’t go out.
They Always Have “Backup.” African Moms don’t fight solo. If the argument escalates, be prepared for reinforcements—your dad, your aunties, your Jajja (Granny), or even the neighbors might get involved. “Come and see your child,” she’ll call out, and suddenly, everyone is chiming in about how disrespectful you’ve become. If you have no flair for drama, best try never to argue with your Mother.
By the time they’re done, you’ll have lost not just the argument but also any shred of dignity you had left.
Their Argument Style Is… complicated. There’s no such thing as logic—who needs it? An African Mom will argue on a level that transcends reason. One moment you’re asking why you can’t do this, and the next, she’s reminding you about how much school fees cost. Somehow, it all connects in her mind, and by the end, you’ll find yourself apologizing for even bringing it up. Bbhbbbbbbb!!!!
And let’s not forget their ability to turn your words against you. Say something as innocent as, “But I already cleaned the house,” and she’ll fire back with, “Oh, so now you’re counting the few things you do in this house? Do you want me to leave so you can live your life in peace?” simply put, there’s no safe answer to an African Mom’s argument. Silence itself is an offense.
Respect. Africa values respect for elders, and your Mom is most assuredly the first elder you’ll know. From the moment you learn to speak, you’re taught to respect her authority—no questions asked.
So, even if you believe you have the winning argument, you’ll often find yourself backing down out of sheer respect—or fear of being labeled disrespectful. And the funny thing is, your Mom knows this! She’ll stand there, victorious, while you sit in silence, nursing your “loss” with no hope of a rematch.
The Power of Love (and Fear). At the end of the day, you know everything your Mom does comes from a place of love. She wants the best for you, even if her methods seem intense. But let’s be honest—her love is a little terrifying too. The thought of disappointing her is often worse than losing the argument, which is why we all eventually just give in.
Arguing with a Ugandan (African) Mom is a battle you can’t win. They have years of experience, unmatched wit, and a universal support system from other Moms who agree with them. So next time you feel tempted to start an argument, save yourself the trouble. Accept your defeat gracefully and move on. Trust me—it’s better for everyone involved.
